Kristi Noem Responds to Husband’s ‘Bimbofication’ Fetish Photos

Former Department of Homeland Security secretary Kristi Noem is speaking out over allegations her husband, Bryon Noem, is a cross-dresser who takes selfies wearing oversized fake boobs.

via: Rolling Stone

Former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has responded to revelations that her husband, Bryon Noem, frequently engaged in online “bimbofication” fetish content. 

In a statement to the New York Post, representatives for Kristi Noem said, “Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time.” 

On Tuesday, The Daily Mail  reported that Bryon Noem, who has been married to the recently demoted DHS secretary since 1992, has been a frequent participant in online fetish chatrooms, and sent over $25,000 in digital payments to the women he was chatting with. 

The Daily Mail obtained a trove containing thousands of text messages, as well as photos of Mr. Noem roleplaying, many of them produced while Noem was serving in President Donald Trump’s Cabinet. Bimbofication is a roleplaying kink centered around exaggerated hyper-sexual femininity in order to embody stereotypical “bimbo.” Big boobs, big butts, full lips, and no intellect. As author and podcaster Tina Horn writes of bimbofication in her book Why Are People Into That?, “Sometimes, you don’t want to be a fully integrated self during sex … Bimbofication offers a clear delineation between the moaning, cumming, uninhibited sex object you dream of being and the mild-mannered alter ego you have to be the rest of the time.” 

“You might not want to literally look and act like a dumb blond in bed, but the dumb blond can be a marvelous symbol of something many of us do want to be: someone whose simple existence is dedicated only to being admired and enjoying herself” Horn adds.

The Mail released a series of photos showing Mr. Noem with large inflated balloons under his shirt, with the ties positioned outwards as if to suggest nipples. “You turn me into a girl,” Mr. Noem said in one exchange with a model he asked about her breast implants. 

The report became the subject of widespread online mockery. The official account for the Democratic Party joked that it was “cute they both liked to dress up,” referencing Noem’s habit of wearing almost costume-ish getups for many of her public appearances. 

“Wow, well, I feel badly for the family. If that’s the case, that’s too bad,” President Donald Trump  told The Daily Mail in a subsequent phone call. 

Trump ousted Noem from her position as Homeland Security Secretary earlier this month, amid a torrent of controversy. The firing came shortly after Noem appeared before Congress, where she was grilled about her lavish spending on DHS marketing campaigns centered around her own public image. Noem was also questioned about her alleged affair with former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski. In an apparent attempt to demonstrate the strength of her marriage, Noem pointed out that her husband had accompanied her to the Capitol, and was seated just behind her.

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I just want to preface this by saying that in no way, shape or form am I judging someone for having a personal kink. If you have been following me for a while you know that I am someone who is pro sex. My issue here is the hypocrisy regarding people like Kristi, who has carved out her entire political career as a religious, conservative crusader against the LGBTQ community and immigrants.

This is a woman who wrote a book gloating over shooting her dog for attacking her neighbor's chicken and biting her, and then gloating that she took one of her goat's and shot it as well. This is the same woman who lied about a meeting with Macron, and pretended to stare down Kim Jong Un as if she's some alpha female.

She got all that silicone injected in her face to look like an overblown Barbie doll, and forgot to get tits to mach, since she's shaped like a pre-pubescent boy. So he had to resort to buying triple F sized titties online because physically his wife wasn't living up to his private fantasies in the bedroom.

So while she's out here allegedly spreading her bony legs for Corey Lewandowski, her husband is busy online ordering Jimbo-sized breastplates from the Pleasure Chest while pleasuring himself online with hookers.

I just wish that these so-called family values conservatives who make it a mission to tell sex positive people how to live their lives would worry less about what others are doing in their own bedrooms, and would just come to terms with who you really are as human beings.

But because you are filled with so much shame and guilt, you feel it's easier to judge others who have the cojones to show up as their authentic selves.

Does this mean that Byron may be closeted and wants to become Brianna? Who knows. And if people think that men who are married to women don't have trans tendencies, I have two words for you: Caitlyn Jenner.

So no Kristi -- you don't get thoughts, prayers and privacy because your husband's secret kink was exposed. I'm going to give you the same amount of grace that you've given to immigrants, the queers, and people of color.