Move over M3GAN! The Trailer for Melania’s New Biopic Will Haunt Your Nightmares

In a jaw-dropping surprise for horror fans, we have a first unwanted look at the trailer for Melania Trump's new documentary.

via: Queerty

“Here we go again!” A brand-new trailer for the scariest movie ever made just dropped, and it’s called Melania.

Our first look at the new film about the foreign model-turned-first lady (and the most boring and patient woman ever, probably) features unsettling music, quick and dramatic shots of her Hamburglar hat, stilettos and sunglasses, and almost indistinguishable dialogue.

We can’t believe Amazon MGM Studios paid $40 million for the film, sent a Michelle Pfeiffer Christmas movie straight to streaming, and is putting this sh*t in theaters.

M3LANIA

The minute-long clip invites us to “witness history in the making” as Melania has “20 days to become the First Lady of the United States of America” again.

“Everybody wants to know, so here it is,” she says almost flirtatiously. We don’t know who asked, but it definitely wasn’t us.

What follows is a montage of the stone-faced 55-year-old strutting around the White House, boarding Air Force One, planning the inauguration, pretending to add value in conversations with world dignitaries, and some jump scares of her convicted felon husband, a.k.a. our Dumb Ass-in-Chief.

In one particular scene, she phones him from a golden bedroom worth more than we’ll make in our entire lives and in says, “Hi, Mr. President. Congratulations.”

But when he replies, “Did you watch it,” she responds with a vocal side-eye, “I did not. I will see it on the news.” LOL.

The Brett Ratner of it all

Although if you thought Melania would have any sort of critical lens or provide even a single thought-provoking moment, you’d be wrong.

Notably, the documentary was produced by the first lady and was directed by Rush Hour filmmaker Brett Ratner, whose career has gotten noticeably quieter after six women accused him of sexual harassment and misconduct in 2017.

We imagine he fit right in with the Tr*mp family then.

Obviously, Gay Twitter X immediately swooped in to roast the film, which hits theaters on January 30, 2026 — although we imagine its box-office flop status might rival that of Sydney Sweeney’s Christy.

One user joked that they were “seated” for the cameo from Nicki “MAGA” Minaj.

Former Biden and Harris staff member, Rhonda Elaine Foxx, pointed out how ass-backwards it is that “people literally cannot afford food” and the first lady is cosplaying movie star.

Others even compared the obviously staged “hybrid between documentary and feature filmmaking” to Charli XCX’s upcoming Brat-inspired mockumentary, The Moment.

That said, the best response came from filmmaker Charles Curran, who recut the Melania trailer shot for shot and used AI to replace the first lady with Miss Piggy.

Unfortunately, not even the Muppets queen could get us to care about this sure-to-be box-office crash.

Check out more reactions to the Melania trailer below.

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In regards to this trailer, I'm going to use an actual Melania qoute. "I don't care. Do You?" With all that being said, I can't wait to report on the box office numbers doing worse than Sydney Sweeney's Christy.